Saturday, March 8, 2008

Comfortably Numb- Awakening The True Spirit Within By Janee Kuta-Iliano

So, this is the first time I have worked on my blog!!! My thanks to my web designer, Maria for being so patient with me :) I feel that it is time to start paying a lot more attention to this underused tool so that I can start to get my thoughts out to you as well as bits of information that I feel can be helpful in building a healthier lifestyle. I am sure I will learn how to best use this service, but for now, I am just going to open myself up to all of you, revealing my personal accomplishments and obstacles in this experience of creating a healthier, happier life. So we'll see how it goes.

This is a recent article I wrote in our Journey Magazine. It was the first time I realized just how much I opened myself up to readers. My purpose for doing so was to help people realize that we all have struggles and issues. I wanted to relate to others in similar situations as well as offer ways in which I am dealing with these life issues. They may or may not be of use to you, but we'll see.

It is my intention to grow this blog into an open forum where people can talk to one another and share ways in which to take better control of your health and well-being. Anything is possible, so let's start working together and sharing anything that comes to mind and heart. Be well, hope to hear from some of you soon!

Janee



Recently I was with a friend listening to a cover band sing “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd when I had a moment of awakening. You don’t really need to know the words to that song in order to get the drift of its lyrics. The words seemed to describe my life at given moments and the realization struck something deep inside of me. I felt afraid and knew I needed to start doing some serious work on myself in order to figure out why I felt so numb.

Shortly after, I met with a life coach and a therapist to start uncovering these underlying causes of my behaviors and emotions. Initially it was hard to go to a therapist since somehow I learned that going to a therapist meant I should be ashamed of something. I placed negativity on the whole experience but have found it to be a very positive place in which to explore myself and set some achievable goals.

I had known for awhile that something wasn’t right because I found myself getting upset over such silly things but didn’t know what to do about it. For instance, one day, I spilled milk (almond milk that is…) on the floor and you would have thought the world was coming to an end. My reaction to the spilled milk was way over the top and totally uncalled for. So, why was I so upset over something so trivial? The reason why spilling milk on the floor was so frustrating was not because of the obvious, but the spilt milk made me see how rushed my life was and how I didn’t realistically plan my days. With the lack of realistic planning, I was setting myself up for failure each and every day. My life coach asked me to start tallying up the time it would take for me to get all of my things on the “To Do” list completed. I laughed as I quickly saw that I would have to commit to over 10 hours a day getting everything on my list done on top of raising a family and being a wife. My goals for the day were unrealistic and unattainable and it was news to me! I kept thinking that I was not efficient and not doing a good job with my life. But what has really been going on was my lack of realistic planning which was creating all these negative emotions. So the spilling of milk was just the tipping point for all that pent up emotion.

During this unraveling process, I also realized that I was not verbalizing my feelings very effectively. Identifying feelings sounds easy enough, but it has proven to be difficult for me and I would imagine it is for others out there as well.

We all read about how you should practice relaxation and breathing techniques to help deal with stress. I have read it so much that I began to feel like something was wrong with me if I couldn’t calm myself through deep breathing and just letting go. Breathing was not working for me and it actually felt like I was trying to stuff all those negative feelings back into my body instead of expressing them as they came up. I actually felt like something was wrong with me if I wasn’t peaceful and calm each day. Like it was bad to feel disappointed, upset, jealous, angry, tired, rushed, distracted, grouchy, etc. I would beat myself up for feeling anything other then perfect. I was soon able to realize that I wasn’t honoring my feelings. What a relief to let go of trying to be perfect! Now, I am trying to identify what is really bothering me on any given day. What has been amazing is that the quicker I identify what is really bothering me, the faster the emotions and frustrations fade.

Something as simple as identifying feelings has awakened my ability to know myself and see what is really behind my emotions. I realize that I am not my feelings but it takes time to stop such a tiring habit. Imagine being dragged around by your feelings each and everyday? It is completely exhausting.

As I have started letting go of this notion of having to be perfect, I see how hard I have been on myself. It was finally okay to not be everything and everywhere all the time. I now appreciate that I am doing the best that I can with the little time I have. From that, I starting respecting my need for personal time and started scheduling time to take care of me. I made time for personal development and exercise and as I continue do this, the better I feel. Even if it is doing some sit ups and jumping jacks in my spare bedroom for 15 minutes, at least it was something I did for me.

I want to be zen-like and peaceful but that is a process I have to work at. If you leave life up to chance then you will always be hoping and wishing that things turn out they way you want. You have to actively participate in your life and set realistic goals that leave you feeling fulfilled and not overworked and unhappy. Stop setting yourself up for failure. We are human and need to be realistic with what we can do each day.

Figuring out yourself is not brain science, but it is harder to figure out what is going on when the one you are examining is YOU. It is much easier to look at someone else and see the issues, but not so easy when it is you who is figuring you out. That is why we all need help to awaken our true potentials. We don’t need know it all and it is okay to lean on others for help and insight.

This life is whatever you want it to be. Awaken your true self! Start doing the things that make you happy. Identify what it is you want in life and lean on others to help you with the process. We don’t have to be in survival mode everyday. Are you “Comfortably Numb?”

The only thing that separates us is that some of us take action to change the negativity in our lives, while others let life circumstances take them over. You can set a different course for your life if your will and desire are strong enough to take action. This is not as good as it gets. Life can be eventful, fulfilling and full of promise if you start examining what it is that you really want. Be well and know that we all have “stuff” to deal with. You are never alone.

Janee Kuta-Iliano is the director of ALiVE ONE whose purpose is to empower others to take control of their health. She is a Wellness Coach offering Colon Hydrotherapy, Internal Cleansing & Detoxification Programs and whole food nutritional products. Visit her website at www.aliveone.net. For more information contact Janee at 440-478-9802 or janee@aliveone.net